I Love New York

"Other places make me feel like a dork"
— Madonna

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Cleaning Out My Closet

"Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me?"
— Eminem

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Brimful Of Asha

"Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow"
— Cornershop

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Witch Doctor

"Ooo eee, ooo ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang"
— David Seville

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Primary

"The very first time I touched your skin I thought of a story and watched you reach the end too soon"
— The Cure

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Perfect Skin

"She's got checkbones like geometry and eyes like sin"
— Lloyd Cole And The Commotions

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Release The Bats

"Sex horror sex bat sex horror sex vampire sex bat horror vampire sex cool machine"
— The Birthday Party

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I Don't Like Mondays

"There are no reasons, what reason do you need to die?"
—Boomtown Rats

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Prime Mover

"You're a disco reptile, a funky alligator"
—Zodiak Timewarp And The Love Reaction

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Recurring Nightmare

"Two eyes scan the room for something sweet and sacred"
—Super-K

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Death Take Me Now

"My body's a bag of pus"
—Black Assassins

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Stupid Thing

"It wasn't me that you outsmarted"
—Aimee Mann

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Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others

"Some girls' mothers are bigger than other girls' mothers"
—The Smiths

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Something In The Way

"It's OK to eat fish 'cause they don't have feelings"
— Nirvana

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Purge

"I can't find my tampon string, running late for everything"
— Mace

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One Crowded Hour

"If love is a bolt from the blue, then what is a bolt but a glorified screw"
— Augie March

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Mississippi Goddam

"You don’t have to live next to me, just give me my equality"
— Nina Simone

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Square Dance

"I'm 28 — they're gonna take you before they take me"
— Eminem

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Big Bottoms

"My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo, I want to sink her with my pink torpedo"
— Spinal Tap

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Television Addict

"Just because I watch Dinah Shore doesn't mean I need a facelift"
— The Victims

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David Lee Roth

"Rubber nose, wear pantyhose"
— Cosmic Psychos

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In A Hole

"How could something crawl within my rubber holy baked bean tin?"
— Jesus And Mary Chain

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Traveling Riverside Blues

"You can squeeze my lemon till the juice run down my leg"
— Robert Johnson

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Folsom Prison Blues

"I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die"
— Johnny Cash

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Man In Uniform

"To have ambition was my ambition"
— Gang Of Four

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California Über Alles

"You will jog for the master race and always wear a happy face"
— Dead Kennedys

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Let's Do It

"Chinks do it, Japs do it"
— Cole Porter

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Gloria

"Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine"
— Patti Smith reprising Them

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Roll Over Beethoven

"I've got the rockin' pneumonia, I need a shot of rhythm and blues"
— Chuck Berry

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Bigmouth Strikes Again

"Now I know how Joan of Arc felt as the flames rose to her Roman nose and her Walkman started to melt"
— The Smiths

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Christine 16

"She's young and clean"
— Kiss

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Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap

"For a fee I'm happy to be your backdoor man"
— AC/DC

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Television, Drug Of The Nation

"Television is the only wet nurse that would make a cripple"
— Disposable Heroes of Hiphopracy

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Who?

Steven Noble

Why?

Not because I like or hate the music or lyrics — just because the lyrics seem to pop out of a song and hang in the air for a moment, whether because they're good, bad or just plain silly